The cast of "Their Cheatin' Hearts" and me, big John Wayne, have moseyed on back to the Drumchapel Country and Western Club to prepare for the festive season.

This is a magical time of year, Christmas approaching, surprises, lights, decorations, Christmas trees and presents. What better time to celebrate Panto and to be playing that wee beauty Cinderella's dad, Baron Hardup!

Well, bringing up a child on your own can be hard work, so I decided to marry Cinderella's stepmother and adopt her two lovely daughters! What can I say? My new wife was thrown out the diplomatic corps and her two daughters are so ugly that their shadows walk on the other side of the road! Their bites are worse than their barks! What have I done? Oh deary me, my poor wee Cinders! Cheer her up for me! Enjoy the show! All's well that ends well!